Mai Funny Valentine
by Y2Jen
Summary: Joey asks Mai out for Vday but gets rejected and dispairs. How can this cute lil love story get any worse… or in this case better! A old but sweet fic, I don’t wanna give it all away – but does Joey? one shot slash


**DISCLAIMER:** _Well I'm finally doing it like I promised so long ago, a yaoi fanfic... well actually I take this back, I originally wrote this as three large chapters over a year ago for last years V-Day, but computer problems, etc. I re-wrote it during my lunch hour, so it's not as good and not as long or detailed, so don't shoot it too hard just cause it's my first. It might not be too hentai, more cute and fluffy,but to play it safe Iput it as a rated R superstar... er, fanfic... pucker up for this Valentines Day lemon. Does it suck? I dunno, you're the reader, you tell me!_

It was just another normal day at Domino City High School, well not really… cause that weekend was Valentines Day. And by the look of the dark cloudy sky, it might be a cold wet and rainy one. Joey Wheeler had his eye on the prize. But how does he go about doing it? Asking her sweetly and putting on that classic ol charm? Give her lavishing gifts of plushes and flowers and cards? It was so hard, what confection could show his affection? Joey's head hurt from his racking brain. What kind of holiday would make a kid stress and think after school hours? He hoped those Hallmark fat cats were happy.

"Alright then, I'll see you tomorrow!"

Joey whirled around with a gasp upon hearing the distant voice, "Mai!" He was out of time, he had to go in on it blind with just his gut instinct. Girls liked that spontaneous kind of guy right? Too bad he does before thinking. "Hey there sweetie." Joey was posing next to Mai's red convertible.

Mai sighed and slumped her shoulders, "Oh, it's only you…" She dug in her purse to find her keys. "Look now, I'm busy so what do you want?"

"What's the hurry Mai?" Joey asked, getting a bit nervous but continuing to play the act. "You can't rush love now can you, listen to your heart."

"Sure, and right now it's telling me to say 'good bye'." Mai shoved Joey aside and opened her car door.

"No wait, Mai, please no don't go yet." Joey whined, finally tossing the facade.

Mai's lip pouted with a bit of frustration, "Fine, what is it? Gees Joey, you're a weird kid, but today you're acting extra strange."

"Oh." Joey gulped, great that was a nice ice breaker. "Listen, I've got something to ask you."

"Oh really?" Mai put on her seat belt.

"Go out with me on Valentines."

"What…?"

"Mai, be my Valentine!"

Mai was speechless for what seemed like an eternity for Joey, until… "Aha ha hah!" She burst out laughing and that sound of joy couldn't have inflicted anything but that into Joey's heart. "Oh that's a good one Joey! But seriously, no more kidding around. I've got an important appointment and I really can't afford to be late." She started her car. "We can play this game some other time alright?" She backed out of the parking space. "Later!" She waved out the window as she sped off and out of sight.

"….Mai…" Joey was frozen in shock, his body felt like it was going to crumble down. The dark cloudy sky had finally gathered, thundering as the wind began to fall the icy cold raindrops. Joey walked home sulking, "More important than me? How could she just brush me off and laugh like that?" Joey stopped by the bus stop and sat on the bench to think, "Maybe she doesn't love me like I love her." He looked up, the ocean could be seen not too far away. He walked across the empty street and stood against the barricade fence that blocked the rapid waters below from any life that lived up above. He sighed sadly.

Mai was driving quickly on the road, "Boy I hope I didn't lay it in too hard on the poor kid, gosh guy, I wonder if he'll be alright out in this storm all by himself."

Joey's heart bled and broke in the tear of rejection, "If you can't be with the one you love, then, really what's the point of it all…?" He asked the Pacific that raged in the storm below him. A gust picked up, causing Joey's teeth to clatter from the freeze, "This chill is warmer than the cold shoulder Mai gave me." He sneezed and wiped his nose, opening his eyes again. "How can I really go on, I feel like I'm dying." He braced himself for his next move in this game of life. His last. An emo decision. "Not to sound cliché, not that anyone's even here listening, but, good bye cruel cough, cough. Ugh…" Joey held his hot dizzy head. "Whoa I don't feel so good." His hands fell from on the guard rails and he sunk to his knees.

"Hey, hey you over there…!" The distant voice called.

"W-what…?" Joey's eyes fluttered a the familiar voice as a figure rushed over.

"Are you alright? Hang on!" The stranger took him into their warm embrace, and Joey amid his delusions couldn't help but welcome it right now.

"Who, is… this is…" Joey tried to think. "What's going on?" The blurred silhouette of the individual went white as the pale faced Joey blacked out…

"Joey, Joey can you hear me? Joey."

"That voice again, who is it?" Joey's mind wondered in the darkness.

"Joey!" The familiar voice became louder and clearer.

"That's…" Joey gasped and opened his eyes. "Mai!" He froze as he saw who lurked up above him. "You!"

"Hey mongrel."

"K-Kaiba?" Joey choked out in shock. "What, but how, why am I here?" Kaiba didn't answer. Joey's face felt as cold as ice. He felt his forehead, there was a wet washcloth. "You saved me?"

"Well I couldn't just leave you out there like that, not with the condition that you're in."

Joey's eyes narrowed into a leer, "Yes you could've. You're Kaiba." He let out a sneeze.

Kaiba glared down at him, "Here now open your mouth." More of a demand than request.

"Huh?" Joey blinked but before he could think to respond, the end of a thermometer found its way rammed in and pulled back out. "Hey." He growled. "Watch it with that." Then he blinked, "Wait what was that?"

"It's a new thermometer we invented." Kaiba read the hand held read out attached to the other end of the small thin pole. "You're still really warm…"

"Yeah well I feel like I'm frozen, you genius." Joey snapped back.

"Hmph." Kaiba's face frowned into a scowl. "You're face is dirty from being out in the rain." He threw a small towel onto Joey's chest. "Clean yourself off, you're a guest in my home and I'd like to not get the bedding in this room dirty."

"Yes your majesty." Joey picked it up with a snooty tone, then broke down coughing and laid down.

"Just take it easy then." Kaiba sighed as he rolled his eyes, then he looked down at Joey. "Hey. Hey wake up, you okay there?" Kaiba looked down with a bit of concern at Joey's zoned out expression. "Hey, hey you hear me!" Kaiba yelled. He turned around and fumbled in a desk drawer, finding a flashlight. "You don't pass out on me when I'm lecturing you now, you got that mister!" Kaiba growled, hiding his concern. He shone the light into Joey's eyes in order to get a response. He saw a slight glimmer of life so he drew back. "If you can hear me, open your mouth." Kaiba watched as Joey's chin fell a bit, obeying the command. Kaiba grabbed a bottle from the counter, "Take this medicine." He put it in Joey's mouth for him to swallow. Then he grabbed a stick and placed it down on Joey's tongue to make sure and see that it went down alright. He stood up and stared down at Joey in his half conscious state, "Like I said, just rest now. I'll come back in and check on you later, I, unlike yourself, have a life to live." He turned and went to the door. He opened it but before leaving, he took one last glance back over his shoulder at his blonde scruffy patient, then closed the door behind him.

Joey lay in bed staring up at the ceiling, "Me, here in Kaiba's house…? Who would've ever thought it… who would've ever thought, that it would've been so… nice…" He closed his eyes and did as he was told by his host, to get some rest.

Sometime later, Kaiba came back into the room to find Joey asleep, "Well it looks like he might be doing a little better by now." He put the back of his hand gently up against his warm cheek. "I could stare at him forever like this..." It felt so soft, but he gasped slightly as Joey's face trembled as he re-awoke. "So, you're alive now are you."

"Get your glove off my mug." Joey growled back but then coughed. "What do you want?"

"It's my house, I have a right to be in here."

"I'm a guest, so I say no you don't." Joey sat up but began to shiver.

Kaiba sighed and looked towards the end of the bed, "Here." He put the small blanket around Joey's shoulders.

"Thanks…" Joey finally admitted. "Look this isn't you, why are you being so good to me of all people?"

"I'm Kaiba, I can do whatever I want wherever I like, and you know it."

"You know that's not what I mean." Joey's eye twitched. Kaiba sighed, maybe this wasn't a good idea if… Joey got up quickly before Kaiba could finish his thought. "Listen, I don't know what you're planning in that conniving little skull of yours but…"

Kaiba went to restrain him, "Calm down, if you get too frantic you'll…"

"Yeah I'll what smart guy…" Joey collapsed onto the bed.

"Pass out…" Kaiba sighed and helped to lay him back down. Joey coughed as he sat down on the edge of the bed. Kaiba looked around the room again as he thought to himself, "Look I want to help you, and you know you have no choice in your state. I'm Kaiba, like you said, and nobody can tell me what to do. My house, my rules, got it?"

"I understand…" Joey muttered under his breath.

"Now open wide."

"Ah." Joey's body forcefully obeyed his deviant mind.

"That's better." Kaiba smirked as he bent down a bit and shone the flash light down the teen's sore red throat. He stuck the end of the stick down on the back of his tongue as he thought to himself, "I know this isn't right. Will I know how to tell? I mean, he's sick, he wouldn't… I shouldn't… but, here like this how can I…" Kaiba threw down the stick and flashlight, "I can't take it anymore!" He roared.

"Eh?" Joey gasped, his mouth still open. Kaiba returned down crouched but this time instead of a popsicle stick ramming itself down Joey's throat, a soft warm tongue crawled its way rapidly down the back of his own. "W…Kaiba…" Joey thought, what was he…. And why now was he himself… Joey wasn't fighting it, he closed his eyes and widened his lips as they wrestled tongues between the others cheeks. Finally Kaiba pulled back and Joey caught his breath, "Wow…"

Kaiba panted after the warm wet kiss, "And now that you know, you can't tell anyone else…"

"No, it's not that, it's just that…" Joey blinked. "I'm just shocked, you felt the same."

Kaiba was shocked, "You mean that you're not…"

Joey shook his head no and smiled, "Not at all."

Kaiba smiled a bit as he rubbed his finger against his soft perfect lips, "So then, you don't mind if…"

"Not if you mind my cold."

"I'll make you hotter than any fever could." Kaiba dove back in to Joey who received him with open arms. After another tonsil-licious tango, Kaiba and Joey sat on the bed together. Kaiba smiled up at the ceiling with a grin he'd never worn in his life before, "Do you know how hot you are? How warm you make me feel inside?"

"I never thought I could feel this way about someone, especially you…" Joey thought. "Not even Mai…"

Kaiba turned back to Joey, "I love to explore inside you with my tongue as the guide. You're throat is red and firey, just like our hot passion, love. Can you realize how slurping your moist uvula like a pacifier is such a turn on?"

"Shut up." Joey laughed.

"I'm sorry I can't be as much fun, seeing as I've had mytonsils out, but, Iwant another taste." Kaiba lurched over Joey.

"Come back for another shot of sweet candy eh?" Joey smirked. "Bam."

"Bam indeed." Kaiba forced his lips into a kiss as Joey's mouth parted open. Kaiba seemed to ram his face down Joey's throat, it was almost as if he was trying to suck Joey's tonsils out whole for himself. They throbbed with joy and passion as Kaiba moaned with pleasure. He licked the sides of Joey's throat and bit gently down on his tongue. Joey felt the hardness come on, on his crotch, as if he could no longer contain himself and quell the feelings inside. Kaiba's tongue touched the back of Joey's throat for just but a moment, and that simple tingle caused Joey to break into a coughing fit and so Kaiba drew back. "Sorry."

"It's alright, not your fault." Joey smiled after catching his breath. "I quite liked it."

Kaiba smiled, "I know."

Joey gasped as he saw the clock from out of the corner of his eye. "Gees I'd better get home!" He stood up.

"Well you feel cooler." Kaiba felt his forehead.

"Trust me man, I'm feeling hot, hot, hot." Joey's comment made Kaiba laugh. Joey smiled, "You should laugh more often, it's a nice look for you. Thanks for the hospitality."

"Thanks for the tonsil hockey."

"Shut up." Joey laughed and left. Kaiba sat beaming on the guest bed, hoping and wishing that maybe someday Joey would reside with him in it again.

That Friday, after school…

"Hey Joey."

"Mai?"

"Look, I want to apologize to you about the other day."

"Trust me, it's not a problem."

"I hope you didn't take it seriously, I mean I really do like you."

"What, you do?" Uh oh, he wasn't expecting that.

"So, what are you doing for Valentines, you want to hang out maybe?"

Joey's heart leapt, he couldn't believe it, she was asking him out after he thought she rejected him, he couldn't believe it, that yet…" No."

"What?"

"No Mai, I'm sorry but, I've found somebody else."

"What? But…"

"I know you'll understand someday, when you find a love you feel so strongly about like mine."

"But Joey…" Mai reached out as he turned to go.

"I thought that I felt that way about you, but there's a difference between lust… and love."

Mai watched him walk off into the distance, "Joey…"

Weekend…

Joey knocked on the door and the familiar face opened it, "Hey there, come back like a good dog."

Joey held up a rose, "Will you be my Valentine?"

Kaiba laughed, "That's funny."

"I don't have to think when it comes to you, I know exactly what to get."

"Presents…?" Kaiba blinked.

"I know you don't like candy, but, how about something even sweeter?"

"Trust me, no holiday card could've said that any better."

"Thank you!" Joey beamed with relief. Kaiba let him inside. They went back to the guest room and sat down on the bed. "Want to open your present now?"

"I'll bet it's nice and soft." Kaiba felt through Joey's hair, making him smile. Kaiba kissed Joey onhis pinklips, it was soft and warm, though there was no groping and mauling of passion, the feelings of love they now realized they shared together for each other made its presence known. Kaiba opened his eyes and smiled back as he stared into Joey's beautiful hazel orbs, "Now let me inside you." He took his finger and felt it between Joey's lips as he caressed his tongue, dragging the tip down to the back of his throat, followed by his middle finger, digging down his throat by his tonsils as if he were applying a choke hold, as if he was going to rip Joey's jaws apart and crawl his way inside to become one. "I can't have you apart from me any longer, you have to become mine." He watched Joey's uvula pulse as his throat contracted from breaths. Then he drew back so he could hear his beautiful voice in his ears.

Joey licked his lips, "I think Yugi and Tea will be able to get along fine without me."

"Then that's all I need to hear. Now open wide and say my name." Kaiba and Joey lay down on the bed and began to make out ravenously, the ravishing holiday emotions taking over their bodies as they explored each other's feelings without clothing under the sheets.

That night…

"I hope we can do this again sometime, not only on special occasions." Joey was saying as Kaiba stood with him on the porch.

"I'd say shake on it, but I have a better idea." Kaiba kissed him.

Just then Tristan walked by and gasped upon what he saw, "Whoa, Kaiba, and Joey? Together? Holy cow!" They turned around and shared the same annoyed expression as Tristan blinked, "I wonder if they'd let me join in." Three way with Tristan? Mmmm, no.


End file.
